Anni, 41 years old – Heavy stalking by ex-boyfriend throughout three years.
Met online.
Anni met Jens online, and they had a brief relationship. She found him possessive, domineering and jealous. He was on her back all the time and constantly wanted to know what she was doing with whom, where and when. He insisted on bringing her to and picking her up from work, family visits, when she was out with friends, etc. It set alarm bells ringing in her head, and she broke off the relationship after a couple of months. Subsequently, her nightmare began. Throughout three years, Jens has stalked Anni. He has caused malicious damage to Anni, her friends, neighbours, family, colleagues, workplace, grocery store and other places where she shopped. Before she ended the relationship, he had taken her health insurance card and written down her banking details. In the beginning, he alternated between sweet and hurtful approaches, but they quickly turned to being predominantly hurtful.
Grave harassment at the workplace.
His stalking activities consisted of attempts of obtaining bank loans in her name and attempts of receiving medicine at her doctor’s by way of threatening. Furthermore, he tried to get her new address by ordering a new electronic password from the Central Tax Administration. He squirted glue in her door locks. He slashed the tires of cars belonging to her family, friends and herself several times. He committed acts of vandalism at her workplace by painting texts such as “Whore Anni” on the company doors and windows. He called her workplace up to 100 times, and he blocked the phone line to the company. His grave harassment affected the company greatly. She advised the company to report him to the police as help to stop him, but they did not want to address the matter. They thought that she should make him stop. However, that was precisely what she could not do. Unfortunately, people had difficulties handling the situation. She felt isolated and excluded. The police did not see the gravity of the situation to begin with, which caused her to feel very alone. She was fired at last.
Monitored family and friends.
Jens monitored and followed Anni, her kids, the rest of the family and her friends everywhere they went. He tried to pay neighbours, family and others to get information on her whereabouts. He deluged her with phone calls and text messages. Over a period of 17 days, 5000 text messages and 1400 phone calls to Anni and the people close to her were registered. He had managed to get a hold of her phone number, which was a silent number. He followed her from one end of the country to the other. He demonstrated this by sending her text messages detailing what cars drove in front of and behind her car.
At other times, he had lurked outside her windows and watched her and her daughter. One day, he called and said that he could see what she was doing. He threatened to post nude pictures of her and her half-grown daughter online. Through text messages, he commented on her choice of clothes and the way she looked. He did the same to her neighbour and a friend.
Threatened with anti-tank missiles.
When the day came where he threatened to fire anti-tank missiles through her windows, the police reacted immediately. At this point, she had been stalked for a couple of months, and the police had not been able to do anything. Later on, when the police located his car, they found nude pictures of Anni and her daughter taken through the window.
When she got a restraining order against Jens, she decided to move to a secret address. While she stayed away, her family and friends packed up her flat. However, Jens had been watching everything. When the movers came down to the moving van, he had slashed the tires. The next day, when Anni was ready to greet the moving van at her new home, Jens came driving close behind with a big smile on his face. He had followed the moving van 150 km to the new place. Her plan had failed. She had been found, before she was even in hiding. A feeling of powerlessness overwhelmed her. After a suicide attempt, she started psychological treatment for depression, but she stopped the treatment after a few sessions. The psychologist was a man, and she had lost the ability to trust men she did not know.
Detained in custody.
The stalking escalated. Of her family and friends as well. All the violations were reported. Jens was detained in custody. The first of four trials began. He received two prison sentences of nine months and one prison sentence of two months. As for the second trial, he had been subject to a mental examination and was found to be normal. Thus, he was imprisoned. She was very disappointed that he only got a sentence of two months in the third trial. She believes that the fact he pleated guilty in contrast to the first two trials was the reason for the shorter sentence. Anni is currently waiting for the verdict in the fourth trial.
In connection with the imprisonment of Jens, Anni moved to a new place in another part of the country with her new boyfriend, whom she married later on. Nevertheless, immediately after his release from the second prison sentence, he went to see her, her new neighbours, the mail carrier and others for information about her.
The police in the new police district was dismissive.
The police in the police district did not know her story and did not recognise her report of his violation of the restraining order in the beginning. She was devastated and got physically and mentally worse. She had growing joint pain, did not sleep well, had nightmares and anxiety. Not until after her husband’s dogged and persistent claim of right to report, a presentation of the historical development of the case, and the tabloids’ interest in their story, did the police realise the gravity of the situation. An indictment was prepared, and Jens was detained in custody only a few days later. He was only out for a couple of weeks before he was detained again. Jens had gotten a hold of her new address through some of the case files, the same way he had gotten her phone number several times.
Moved to a new, secret address.
Anni and her husband planned to move to a new, secret address while their tormentor was in prison again. Again, they had a non-closure of their names and address. All the new neighbours were informed about their situation. Anni and her husband showed them a picture of Jens, so they could recognise him, and they gave them some directions in what to do if they saw him in the area.
They did not hear anything from Jens. This time he had not contacted her like before while he was imprisoned. As the release of Jens drew near, she became increasingly tense and anxious. She constantly looked over her shoulder, but now more than ever. And one day, she received a postcard from Jens (with spelling mistakes): “Hi you fat cow. Are you hapy now … I saw you the oter day in town … You nasty cunt, I wish your fat ass would explode … or that you’ll get run over!”
Intensified symptoms.
He had not found her yet. The postcard was sent to her former address, but the feeling of powerlessness overwhelmed her and her spark of life disappeared. All her symptoms intensified. She was afraid to go outside, let alone empty the mailbox. When her husband was at work, she sat inside with the blinds down. Every time the phone rang, she jumped. She spend all her waking hours on worrying. She felt very guilty and started having serious suicidal thoughts. One day, an intense dizziness hit her and she collapsed with a cerebral blood clot.
Saw a psychologist.
Her husband convinced her to see a psychologist, which was an important turning point. She gained some understanding of what type of man she was up against. She learned some tools for handling her anxiety and agitation, and for taking back control of her life. She also learned how to handle the fear of his return. “If I had just seen a psychologist earlier, it would have spared me a lot!”
Being stalked by Jens has had big human costs for Anni and her current husband. She has suffered a mental breakdown several times and has begun antidepressant medicine because of depression. She has developed symptoms of PTSD such as flashbacks, memory and concentration problems, anxiety, irritability, hyper alertness, and many more. During the whole process, she has developed a severe rheumatoid disease. She has become so handicapped that she will not be able to return to a normal fulltime job.
Anni and her husband still live in hiding from Jens.